You Know You've Been in America too Long When ...
  • You've been in the US too long when you go home for a holiday and a kiwi taxi driver asks you what part of NZ you're from. - Dennis
  • ...when your Australian-born child, watching an Australian movie wherein someone refers to a wombat, asks you, "Is a wombat a bat that goes 'wom, wom, wom when it flies?" - Jennifer
  • I told the sales assistant who had been helping me to "have a nice day - Gaynor
  • I caught myself for the first time saying american/california verbage like "NO WAY!" "I AM SO SUUUURE" "OOOH MYYYY GOOOOD" and the dreaded "LIKE.. - Gaynor
  • The first time some-one asked me to do an Australian accent (mine has sadly faded away) and I couldn't!!!!! - Gaynor
  • When things stops being gorgeous, fabulous, fantastic, beautiful etc. and everything becomes CUTE.! - Gaynor
  • When I started using the word Trunk instead of boot - Twoup
  • When I expect service and ask for it if I don't get it - Twoup
  • When I tell the telemarketer to take me 'off your list' - Twoup
  • When I naturally call the Postie - Mailman - Twoup
  • When you are driving on the correct side of the road for the US and when someone decides to drive on the Other side of the road, you call out to them and say" Hey you are driving like you are in Australia, at least I have figured out which side of the road fits here. - Deb M
  • The Glove box is now the Glove compartment. - Deb M
  • You spell your words the American way e.g. Tyre = Tire, Humour = humor. - Deb M
  • When you can go to a restaurant, and not feel like you're getting a maths lesson when ordering food. "Did ya waaaaaant A1, or H57?" "And was that the 16oz?" - Jo Kiwi
  • When your 6yr old kid offers to teach you the Pledge of Allegiance to save you further embarrassment at school assemblies! - Jo Kiwi
  • You know better than to walk into any nursery (scuse, me "Garden Store") and ask where they keep their pot plants. - Jo Kiwi
  • You've come to accept that no matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to describe what a saveloy looks like. - Jo Kiwi
  • You realise people arent joking when they tell you that talking sex, religion or politics in the workplace will get you fired (and SUED). - Jo Kiwi
  • You take for granted that you're going to need a prescription for half the stuff that you could have bought over the counter at home. - Jo Kiwi
  • Jif is no longer your favourite cleaning product, but a brand of peanut butter. - Jo Kiwi
  • It used to be a great novelty to have 150 TV channels to choose from ... Now you realise theres only 4 you ever watch anyway, and know better than to even look after midnight, cause its all Paid Programming anyway. - Jo Kiwi
  • You make "red-neck" jokes about the neighbours who still havent taken their Christmas lights down by March. - Jo Kiwi
  • When you can't remember whether windshield or windscreen is the Aussie version. - Jodie in NC
  • You stop reaching for the seatbely over your right shoulder. - OzConnor
  • You stop going to the right hand side of the car to get in to drive. - OzConnor
  • People stop asking where you're from, cause you sound like they do. - OzConnor
  • You start using the following terms without thinking about it: trunk, hood, sidewalk, crosswalk, soda, stick-shift. - OzConnor
  • You remember the name of the purple dinosaur, but can't remember the name of the dinosaur that hangs out wit the Wiggles. - OzConnor
  • You start thinking "Saturday Night Live" is funny. - OzConnor
  • You have 30 minute conversations about the weather. - OzConnor
  • Hersheys chocolate starts tasing good - OzConnor
  • You always say "elevator", never "lift" any more. - OzConnor
  • You always "call" people, never "ring" any more. - OzConnor
  • You always say "SUV", never "4WD" any more. - OzConnor
  • You always say "pickup", never "ute" any more. - OzConnor
  • You don't have to think anymore when reading a date. - OzConnor
  • You don't think about spelling words without a "u' in them. - OzConnor
  • You start to believe that an Oreo is a decent substitute for a Tim-Tam. - OzConnor
  • You start to think that the NFL is a decent sort of football. - OzConnor
  • When I started considering plastic surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Gaynor
  • I also know I've been in America too long when my mother calls the office and doesn't even recognise ME! Mistaking me for one of my American colleagues. That was scary!!! Cause I don't feel like I have really changed at all. - Belinda
  • When I say ToMAYtoe - instead of ToMAHtoe - twoup
  • When I chat to a unversity student and ask them how things are going at school... - bear
  • When you call the shopping trolley a cart and it seems so natural. - Deb M
  • When Aussie cheese looks pale and insipid against the more robust and vibrant American cheese! - Pauline
  • When talking Little League, bake sales while eating candy doesn't sound like you live in an American television series anymore! - Pauline
  • When terms like Co-Pay, DMV, & Jo-Jos dont have you looking at your American spouse silently saying "HELP!!" - Jo-Kiwi
  • When you pronounce your 'r's without even knowing it! - Jodie in NC
  • I knew I had been in America too long: Whenever I hear an Australian accent, I race to the tv to see who it is or spin around in a store. On a recent trip to Melbourne, I made myself giddy in Safeway. Then I realised where I was. - Robyn
  • When someone says "see you later" and you answer with "uh huh - Pauline
  • You watch the American troops going off to fight the war and become teary eyed and wish OUR boys a speedy return home. - Pauline
  • You are defensive to friends back home about President Bush and your home the US. - Pauline
  • When being served exotic dishes like pumpkin pie, sweet yams, jelly salad, coleslaw with pieces of orange and raisins in it isn't met with a green complexion. (okay, okay... I fibbed, I still run for the hills when they are mentioned) - Pauline
  • When cooking your American husband tea... pancakes, bacon and eggs and watching him pour syrup over all three doesn't make you want to go hide in your room. - Pauline
  • When the van with the writing on the side drives past that reads "Roto Rooter, satisfaction guaranteed" doesn't quite seem so funny anymore. - Pauline
  • When someone asks for your name and you automatically spell it out for them first. - Pauline
  • My son took a bite of a salt & vinegar chip thinking it was a regular chip. Spent the next few minutes spitting, wiping his mouth & drinking anything he could. - OzConnor
  • When shop assistants ask where you are from and you say "Australia" to which they reply, "Oh the way you said thank you I thought you were from the South. - Belinda
  • You find out Hey, Hey it's Saturday has been off air for years. - Neale in MI
  • When you go tanning, get pedicures and massages. - Nam
  • A guy gets on the elevator before you and you think, "how rude!" - Rose
  • You only just save yourself in time from saying braanch (short a) instead of brarnch (long a) .. for branch. - Rose
  • You know you've been in the US too long when you go back to Oz and you see shrimp....ah prawns with their heads on at the store and think it's weird. - Dennis Reidlinger
  • When you buy your meat at a supermarket. - Dennis Reidlinger
  • When you are interested to find out who won game three of the "World Series" - Dennis Reidlinger
  • When you are up north in the winter and say "We should head down to florida". instead of we should go back to oz, it's summer there - Dennis Reidlinger
  • You can't remember the name of that street in Melbourne where everyone goes to eat. - Neale in MI
  • When you no longer think it's totally weird that they sell booze in supermarkets and in drug stores. - Jennifer Ralton-Smith
  • When fellow reporters check with you for verification of an American historical fact before filing a story. - Jennifer Ralton-Smith
  • When those same reporters, reading the wire service, find an article from Australia and read it out aloud to you - and you have no idea what they're talking about because it concerns something that happened long after you left Oz. - Jennifer Ralton-Smith
  • When you're thinking of backing down from the defiant last stand you've made for years in the American workplace - having a large Oxford Dictionary on your desk - and replacing it with an even larger edition of Webster's Dictionary. - Jennifer Ralton-Smith
  • When you're no longer offended by off-colour remarks made by your workmates as you sit chowing down on a Vegemite cracker at your desk; in fact, you're now willing to share your Vegemite because, unlike addicted newcomers to these fair shores, you know it's not the end of the world if you run out of the stuff before the next Oz shipment arrives. - Jennifer Ralton-Smith
  • You go to a beauty salon..(not the hairdressers) - Adele
  • You don't have a coffee perculator, you have a coffee MAKER - Adele
  • You make fun of the bland Aussie Ice-cream flavors - Adele
  • You drop the letter U (color) - Adele
  • Deep frying a turkey does not horrify you anymore - Adele
  • Aussie money looks like monopoly money - Adele
  • When Hershey's chocolate becomes edible - Adele
  • Your greeting is "hey" not hello - Adele
  • Online shopping is the "norm" - Adele
  • Call out "way to go" when you go to Basketball games.. - Adele
  • When you UNDERSTAND BASKETBALL, NFL and BASEBALL. - Adele
  • When NFL Sunday becomes religious to you - Adele
  • You can't possible imagine driving on the "wrong" side of the road, when you plan a trip back to Oz. - Adele
  • Your wardrobe consists of at LEAST one shirt with the American Flag on it. - Adele
  • When you find yourself PROUNOUNCING your 'r's (especially on the phone), without even thinking, because you already know the person you are talking to won't understand you if you don't (or sometimes, they just plain don't understand you anyway!). - Jodie in NC
  • When you know what to ask for at a supermarket. (Eg. When I arrived and I was on my own the first day and had to go grocery shopping - I asked if they had cordial, and where are the Capsicums?? Both were met with blank looks. ). - Jodie in NC
  • You find yourself sometimes saying "What's up" to people. - Jodie in NC
  • You can't remember a Subway ad without Jared in it!!! (Grr!!), LOL. - Jodie in NC
  • You call Hungry Jacks - Burger King. - Jodie in NC
  • You often say "No problem" instead of "No worries" just to save time and amused looks. - Jodie in NC
  • In Australia, they say you sound like a "bloody Yank", but in the USA, people don't always understand you. You sometimes feel like you've lost your identity and just can't win. Sigh. - Jodie in NC
  • You give up on trying to keep your accent - you tried so hard to keep it, but apparently you've almost lost it anyway. Sigh. - Jodie in NC
  • When visiting in Oz, you wonder why your friends start giggling and teasing you, then realise you have said "I have to hit the bathroom". - Jodie in NC
  • When visiting in Oz, you ask the information desk where the "restrooms are" before you have realised what just came out of your mouth. - Jodie in NC
  • You now know at pubs/restaurants - if you order chips you will get potato chips. You know to ask for fries. - Jodie in NC
  • You no longer think it weird to get served a sandwich with potato chips on the side of the plate. - Jodie in NC
  • You eat salad out of a bowl with dinner instead of on the plate. - Jodie in NC
  • You ALMOST always remember to go to the left side of the car if you're driving (hmm...ok, no longer how long you're here, if you're REALLY tired, you still go to the 'wrong side'!). - Jodie in NC
  • You're a pro at driving a "back-to-front" manual car. - Jodie in NC
  • You say quarter, dime, penny, nickel (ok, I don't usually say most of those, except for a quarter), instead of 25 cents, 10 cents, etc. - Jodie in NC
  • You say 'dollar bill' instead of note. - Jodie in NC
  • You go back to Oz for a visit, and don't recognise most of the songs out at the clubs anymore. - Jodie in NC
  • Your favourite softdrink is Root Beer. - Jodie in NC
  • You don't crack up laughing or cringe everytime someone says Root Beer. Ahem. - Jodie in NC
  • You feel like you are the only person in the entire country who does NOT have cable. - Jodie in NC
  • You call Pay TV cable. - Jodie in NC
  • You fly more often than you catch the long distance bus or train. For me anyway, it was the other way around in Oz. (Caught a Greyhound bus from Pittsburgh, PA, via Cincinatti, OH, to Cherry Point, NC once - NEVER, EVER again!!!). - Jodie in NC
  • You're excited to come across even a Kiwi. Haha, JUST KIDDING, - Jodie in NC
  • You often say you're going "food shopping" instead of grocery shopping. - Jodie in NC
  • You understand a whole bunch of jokes in the movies that you totally missed when you were back in Australia. - Jodie in NC
  • You watch "The 70's Show" and realise when they mention the "Piggly Wiggly" grocery store, that it IS a real store, and not just a silly name made up for the show. - Jodie in NC
  • Someone has pointed out to you that you leave out words like "the" in certain sentences. Eg. "She's in hospital". In the US, they'd say "She's in the hospital." - Jodie in NC
  • You no longer spend hours literally watching traffic, just because of all the different makes and models out there that you'd never seen before. - Jodie in NC
  • People don't laugh at you anymore when you get so excited to have seen a squirrel - they know that you just love them. - Jodie in NC
  • You realise chipmunks DO have long tails (unlike their cartoon counterparts, LOL), but lose their tails in fights. You also realise acorns are much smaller than you thought. - Jodie in NC
  • Not only do you stop thinking "How can Americans camp in the woods with all those wild animals out there - bears, coyotes, etc." - you actually WANT to go camping so you can see a wild bear. - Jodie in NC
  • You are used to now having 4 seasons instead of 2. (Back in Oz, our seasons were: hot and less hot!). - Jodie in NC
  • You have seen snow a few times, when you hadn't seen it at all growing up. - Jodie in NC
  • You know what a checking account is. - Jodie in NC
  • You own one or 2 credit cards. - Jodie in NC
  • You don't say EFTPOS anymore. - Jodie in NC
  • You call your card a check card. - Jodie in NC
  • You call a trolley a shopping cart - Jodie in NC
  • A semi-trailer is now a tractor-trailer. - Jodie in NC
  • You no longer say things like "get stuffed" or "she stuffed it up", as people will think you must be saying something strange about having a cold (being stuffed up). - Jodie in NC
  • Lowes is not a discount Men's clothing store. - Jodie in NC
  • No-one pushes a 'pram' here, it's always a stroller. (I don't have kids, so those who do, correct me if I'm wrong here, but I've NEVER heard 'pram' here). - Jodie in NC
  • You have no idea where the local rubbish dump is (is there one??). (In my hometown in Oz, at least, we could always take the extra rubbish and dump it ourselves). - Jodie in NC
  • You now know at schools, kids eat at the cafeteria, not a tuckshop. - Jodie in NC
  • You eat the American bacon. When newcomers to America mention the bacon is different (they usually say worse) to Oz bacon, you have no idea what they're talking about, because you can't remember. - Jodie in NC
  • You call mince 'ground beef.' ('Mincemeat' is that fruity stuff they put in pies). - Jodie in NC
  • You're so excited to receive a bottle of mint sauce in the mail your spouse takes a photo of you with it, LOL. - Jodie in NC
  • You call a pub or club a bar. - Jodie in NC
  • You are no longer shocked that just about every body you deal with (business-wise of course) needs your Social Security number! You were used to having a Tax File Number that you very rarely disclosed to anyone! - Jodie in NC
  • You know your Social by heart. - Jodie in NC
  • You no longer say "BYO" - it's BYOB. - Jodie in NC
  • You no longer say "bring a plate" (unless you want people to turn up with just that, a plate, lol). You say "bring a plate of food". - Jodie in NC
  • You probably know what a 'pot luck' dinner is. - Jodie in NC
  • You go through a drive through and order a meal, and they actually understand what you are saying. Even when you order a coke! - Jodie in NC
  • When you talk about someing "being pissed" you no longer mean they are drunk!! - Jodie in NC
  • When you hear the words "drug store" used, you no longer immediately think of illegal drugs. You probably even say drug store and not chemist nowadays. - Jodie in NC
  • You no longer find it shocking that Americans eat doughnuts for breakfast (and you sometimes join them). - Jodie in NC
  • You eat out more than ever before in your entire life! - Jodie in NC
  • You often even 'eat out' for breakfast. - Jodie in NC
  • You've given up on working out what time it is back in Oz. Hopefully your family or friends (back in Oz), keep track of that and will tell you what time it is there when they call. - Jodie in NC
  • You talk in pounds and miles, even though you grew up with kilograms and kilometres. - Jodie in NC
  • When you tell an friend back in Oz that you've lost "6 lbs", they ask you how many KG that is, and you no longer know. - Jodie in NC
  • You know that when people say 'squash' in America, more often than not, they are referring to a type of vegetable (pumpkin or summer squash), not the sport. - Jodie in NC
  • At restaurants, you stop asking if they have any beetroot (beets) in the salad - it avoids the weird looks you get, and you know such a thing doesn't exist anyway (sigh). - Jodie in NC
  • You (better) understand the American health insurance system. - Jodie in NC
  • When you say "dinner" more than tea. - Jodie in NC
  • You are actually starting to like pumpkin pie. Well, almost there. With lots of whipped cream. And less pie.... - Jodie in NC
  • You say "damn" more than "bloody" - Jodie in NC
  • You have finally starting liking American cheese. - Jodie in NC
  • You actually now know which milk to buy. When you first got to the US, you were overwhelmed: 1%, 2%,4%, half? All I want is some bloody milk!! - Jodie in NC
  • You call a footpath a sidewalk. - Jodie in NC
  • You love being able to turn right on reds. - Jodie in NC
  • You no longer find it fascinating to walk into KMart and see a whole section of guns and rifles. - Jodie in NC
  • After almost getting killed the first time or three, you automatically look left than right when crossing the road. On visits to Oz, you almost get killed for forgetting where you are and doing that all back to front! - Jodie in NC
  • Less people now ask you if you are from England. (Or Scotland, Germany, South Africa!). Now you notice you mainly get "are you from Boston?". - Jodie in NC
  • You find yourself a lot more defensive of the USA (when you're back in Oz on a visit), if the need arises - than those Aussies or others who have never spent any time or more than a couple of weeks in America. - Jodie in NC
  • You know more about what's going on in American politics than in Australia. - Jodie in NC
  • You call serviettes napkins, to save everyone thinking you said Soviets. - Jodie in NC
  • "Y'all" creeps into your vocab - you give up on making it go away! - Jodie in NC
  • You almost always remember to write the month before the day in dates. - Jodie in NC
  • You say "laundry" more often than you say 'washing'. - Jodie in NC
  • When the light switches no longer seem strange or upside down to you. - Jodie in NC

 
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