Spousal Immigration Stories

Spousal Visa

I'd been married before, and had been separated a year at the time we met. It seems we met at a time when neither of us were even looking for a relationship. He was happy living the single life, I was happy and busy looking after 2 kids, and too, was enjoying being on my own. I cant even begin to count the amount of times I'd joked with friends and family about how the very last thing I needed in my life was a man! Didn't particularly want one, didn't have time for one, life was good!

We met online in December, 1998, and by the end of January we were talking daily, on the phone as well as on the computer. We knew right from the start that we were destined to be together. Here we were, quite literally an entire world apart, yet we were quickly developing our own little world where we were very much together. He became a part of my daily routine - get up, read the email he'd sent me overnight and reply to it, get the kids off to school, go to work, count the hours until I could get home again and check email. After the mad dinnertime/homework/bath-time rush, the kids would be settled for the night, and so would I! :o) Straight to the computer, where he'd be waiting for me in the chatroom where we had met. We'd talk for a little while online, and inevitably, end up spending the rest of the night on the phone.

In April we decided to meet in Sydney. Seeing him was like seeing someone I'd loved and known all my life. He didn't even say Hi. Just walked up and gave me the biggest kiss. He joked later that he really wanted to get that kiss in, in case I took one look at him and run in the other direction...lol.
Our 3rd day in Sydney, he proposed on the steps of the Sydney Opera House ... this was it. If we didn't know it before, we certainly knew it now ... somehow, some way, we WERE going to be together. After 3 amazing weeks together, he had to return to the USA to work. Only someone who's been in our situation and had to say goodbye understands how it feels at that airport, and in the weeks afterwards.

It was going to be easy... I was going to pack up my 2 kids, and jump on an airplane to fly into the arms of my wonderful man, awaiting me here in the USA. Oh, how wrong we were. Neither of us had any experience or even knew anyone who had been through the whole immigration fiasco, and trying to navigate their website was like trying to drive blindfolded.

We really started researching all of our immigration options, and it seemed that every way we read about and looked at was not only going to be hugely expensive, but was going to take months and months to process. Added to all of this was the fact that the father of my children more than likely wouldn't give permission for them to leave the country. Never mind that he never saw them and paid no child support ... He had "rights". I asked him for a divorce, and he said that he'd be doing the world a favour by preventing me from marrying again (yeah, real nice guy) . This whole dream of moving to the USA was really starting to look like it was going to stay forever a dream.

My man started talking about moving to Australia. Regardless of who was going to move where, the main goal was to be together. Where was just geography. At this point we really didn't care where we lived. We knew that until I was divorced, we couldn't even start any sort of proceedings with immigration... Hours upon hours of research later, we came to realise that Mexico is one of the few countries in the world where a non resident can apply for a single party divorce, and you don't even have to go there in person! $900USD and 2 weeks later, I had my divorce decree in my hand (and no, I didn't make any effort to find my ex and let him know he was now divorced ... I'm actually still not sure even now whether he realises he's divorced... hehe)

7 months after we'd gotten engaged, I flew to the USA for a 3 week holiday with him. Our second day here, we had a huge and emotional talk about how impossible it all seemed. We then got to talking about how we were already engaged, so why not just get married? That very afternoon we applied for a marriage license, and were married 3 days later. We still had no clue how long it was going to take for us to be able to be together, or where we'd end up living.

While I was still holidaying in the USA, we went to the INS office and asked about our options. They informed me I'd have to return to Australia, while my husband petitioned here on my behalf. The application would then be forwarded to the American Consulate in Australia, where I would have to attend an interview, and then it would all be finalised. The time frame we were looking at was around a year, and I wouldn't have been able to come back into the USA while it was processing. We walked out of there, looked at each other and both said "No way!".

After 3 gorgeous weeks in the USA, we found ourselves back at the airport for yet another tearful goodbye. This one was even worse than the first time, and I wouldn't have thought that was possible. I kept hoping for something like that scene out of "The Wedding Singer" ... you know, where Adam Sandler shows up in the aisle of the plane complete with a guitar? Well, it didn't happen. Instead I ended up crying all the way back to Australia and the poor bugger in the seat next to me didn't really know quite what to do other than pat me on the shoulder every couple of hours and whisper that it's ok.

Back in Australia, I just couldn't seem to settle back into the daily routine of my life. I was tearful, tired and just felt ill. It wasn't like me to be so emotional and lethargic. I worried that maybe I was suffering from depression, something I'd never had an issue with before. I made an appointment to go see a Doctor, and walked out of there with a positive pregnancy test. Ahhhhh, that's what was making me so crazy!

We'd talked about the possibility of me and the girls just coming back to the USA for a holiday and staying, but everywhere we'd read that if you enter on the visa waiver, you can't change your status. This seemed wrong to us, here I was married to an American citizen and expecting a baby. There just had to be an easier way.

At the end of January we threw caution to the wind, booked our tickets, and decided that for whatever we had coming at us, we'd fight it together once I was here. We entered on the visa waiver and I told the nice man at customs I was here to visit family and friends for 3 weeks. Our entire lives were packed into 5 suitcases, and I was terrified he'd see through my story. After a smart-ass comment about my amount of luggage, and an equally smart ass comment from me, about how he'd obviously never travelled from one end of the world to the other with small children, he stamped those passports and we were in!

After a couple of weeks, we called INS and told them that I'd come to visit him for a holiday, and that we just couldn't bare the thought of another goodbye, what could we do? The lady on the end of the phone was worth her weight in gold. She cheerfully informed us she'd send us the packet so I could adjust my status, gave us her direct phone number, and told us not to hesitate to call if we had any problems. After all the research and heartache, could it all be SO easy? We filed to adjust status in May, right before the 3 months from the visa waiver were up. Three months later, I attended that first interview for my Employment Authorisation.

Meanwhile, we moved to a different state, and therefore had to deal with a different office. It seems this made a huge difference in processing times. They transferred everything over, messed up our change of address etc, and just generally behaved like the BCIS we've all come to *cough cough* love and adore... yeahhhh.

Finally the appointment arrived for our fingerprints. By now we were starting to realise that the messing up on their part may be working to our advantage. If they kept taking so long with everything, the chances were good we were going to have had our second wedding anniversary by the time the interview came around, which would mean we'd skip the 2 year conditional greencard, and get right to the 10 year one. Sure enough, December 2001, 25 months after we'd gotten married, our interview letter arrived. We were scheduled for Feb of 2002, and it wouldn't happen fast enough.

The interview, for all the nerves and anticipation, felt more like a friendly chat with a really nice American guy. He was really interested in where I was from, and told me he'd spent some time in the South Pacific on vacation several years prior. All the while he was talking, he was also writing. I'm looking at this huge folder we'd bought with us, that contained everything from photos to utility bills, to bank statements, to engagement cards, just wondering when he's going to ask us some proof that we were legitimate. Eventually he asked us for copies of our tax return, a bank statement and nothing else. He hands us back our passports, informed us that the stamp in them acts as a temporary greencard, and that our greencards will be out to us within 6 months. Wow! He also strongly encouraged me to look at applying for citizenship when the time came, and informed me that if I apply, then the children automatically get citizenship too. For all the hassles we'd had with BCIS over the years, I must say that anytime we had reason to be face to face actually talking to someone, they were beyond friendly, genuinely interested in our culture, and very helpful.

To anyone out there facing what we've been through ... As overwhelming as it is, don't lose hope. The old saying "where there's a will, there's a way" really does hold true. If I'd known about Matesupover prior to arriving in the USA, everything would have seemed so much easier for us. No amount of research equals being able to talk openly with someone who's already been through it all, and who is prepared to help you out and answer all of your questions. Thanks Rose and Steve, for providing us with such an awesome community!

Spousal Visa

My husband and I used the "frowned upon" I-130 immigration process, although we didn't know it was not an approved method at the time. In fact, we didn't know until months later. Here's our story.

In September of 1997, we met on the Internet, were immediately attracted to each other, and kept up communications via email, ICQ, and phone. In January of 1998, I had holidays coming up and we decided we'd meet in New Orleans and spend some time together. We spent three weeks together and knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Going back to Australia was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.

From that time on, we discussed all sorts of ways we could be together. We looked at immigration websites, not knowing if I would move to America, or if he would move to Australia. The immigration processes totally boggled our minds because we couldn't seem to find a process that suited our situation (little did we know at the time that there isn't one).

In June of 1998, I had long-service leave due to me at work, so I decided to take 3 months of it in America. Coming in through customs in LAX was a bit hairy. The woman in customs said, "Are you planning to get married while you are here?" Given that was not our plans, I quite truthfully said no, but I pretty much got the message that I shouldn't tell her about him either. I just said I was visiting a friend. Her main concern was that I had enough money to last me 3 months. I gave her some major attitude at the time; not knowing any better, because I thought it was none of her business. I was lucky enough to be let through despite being belligerent.

Wow, being together again was like coming home. We decided we didn't EVER want to be apart again. We decided that we'd live together for a couple of years, but that we'd go to an immigration lawyer to see what we could do about me being in America legally.

Boy, what a shock we got! The immigration lawyer said that if our main objective was to never be apart again (which it was), then we should immediately go out and get married, and then come back and see him. So stunned, a week later we were married - and it didn't hurt a bit! Our marriage was six weeks after I'd arrived in the U.S.

We went back and saw the immigration lawyer again, and he gave us all the forms we needed to begin the change of status process. He said it was very important to have our application in to the INS before my tourist visa ran out, so that I wouldn't be illegal at any stage. The forms were daunting. I can't remember now what we had to have, but they are all listed on the USCIS web site for the I-130 visa.

Apart from the USCIS forms, we had to have birth certificates, our marriage certificate, prior marriage and divorce certificates, photos, income tax returns for the last three years, and my new husband had to have proof of American citizenship. I'm sure there was other stuff, but I've forgotten now.

We got our package sent off to the USCIS after having the stamp of approval from our lawyer. We sent it by certified mail so that it would have to be signed for, and the receipt sent to us. We got that receipt back before my tourist visa ran out, so I was never classed as "illegal" which was important to us. Now it was a case of sitting back and waiting.

I can't remember in which order things happened, but I know I got my work authorization, and social security card next. That was about 3 months later. Both of those were pretty painless, and I was very pleased to finally have some sort of "legality" and know that my application was really being processed.

At that time, we moved from one state to another, and in the process of that move I had my purse stolen. In my purse were my new work permit and social security card, among other things. To make things worse, because we'd moved states I was now under the jurisdiction of another INS office. I couldn't even apply for another work permit until my records had been sent to the new USCIS office. The mode of transporting documents between states is strapped to the back of a turtle. No joke, it took six months to transfer my records, and in that time I was not allowed to work because I didn't have the physical work permit. Finally my records were transferred, and I could then re-apply for the EAD (work permit), so that took another couple of months, then another two weeks for a new SS card. I got a job straight away.

Not terribly long after that, we had our final USCIS interview (the one that everyone dreads). This is where we found out that the USCIS really doesn't care which immigration process you've used. All they care about is that you are genuine and not trying to commit fraud.

We took in loads of stuff that showed that we were genuine … photos, documents that proved that we did live together, old letters and cards, anything and everything we thought they may be interested in. It turns out that the only thing they wanted to see was our pay slips. That really is different for every person though, and I'm sure it has a lot to do with the methods of each USCIS interviewer. They did ask a couple of questions that demonstrated we had intimate knowledge of each other's personal lives (they asked us both questions about each others children).

The interview only took about 20 minutes and my passport was duly stamped so that I could move in and out of the country freely until my greencard arrived. Because I'd been in the U.S. for over 2 years by this stage, I was issued an unconditional (10 year) greencard. It arrived about 2 weeks later. After the interview, we went out and celebrated that this long, painful process was finally over.

I don't know if I'd recommend our immigration process to anyone else or not. I don't think I'd change how we did things, because it met with our primary goal of not ever being apart again. I think I'd have to say that if the DCF or Fiancée' visas are possible, then they are the more acceptable and probably faster processes. If like us, you just decide you don't want to be apart again, even for the "DCF/Fiancée visa wait", then the I-130 is NOT illegal. Just remember that you can not come into the United States with the intent of getting married - that IS illegal.

All the USCIS cares about is that you are not using the I-130 for fraudulent purposes, and that you are genuinely in love.

Lastly, I've now been in the U.S. for 5 ½ years and I've just applied for American Citizenship. Yes, that means dealing with the USCIS again, but it will be the very last time! That in itself makes it worthwhile. I would not have contemplated this had Australia not changed their legislation on dual citizenship, but seeing as I can have both now, then I don't have a problem with it at all. I now have two homes and will be equally as welcome in both!

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